Traveling on the sidewalk outside of the Starbucks, where I was studying today, was a young girl in a power wheelchair. Her head was cocked to the side as if deep in thought, but in reality, due to some unknown ailment, she could not straighten her neck – and probably despite great effort on her part – never would be able to do something we all take for granted on a daily basis. This was one of those “moments of clarity” where I am reminded of how many things I have to be thankful for: my health, my parents and family, my husband, my beautiful healthy children, the fact I am employed, have a roof over my head and that I do not want for any basic needs.
These moments of clarity remind us to be thankful – but invariably, we fall back into “life” and begin to forget what is most important and it takes another “eye-opener” to bring us back again. My upcoming board exams have me stressed to a level I have not experienced before and too often I am finding myself wrapped up in “getting it all done.” I fear that if I give in – even a little – that I will lose complete control of everything. It’s all or nothing. I tell people that “I’m trying to be more relaxed about ‘how clean the house is’ or how if ‘this or that’ isn’t done that it is okay.” Really, though, I think about those things a lot and continue to get anxious when things aren’t done. My perfectionism, though, is imperfect, as even when the house is “picked up” the imperfections are unseen i.e. drawers are jam packed, dog hair remains on the floor etc. I am relaxed about some imperfections and very rigid about others. I would like to try and find a balance so that I am not so rigid about things that don’t really matter. A quote by Robert Fulghum comes to mind:
One of life’s best coping mechanisms is to know the difference between an inconvenience and a problem. If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire – then you’ve got a problem. Everything else is an inconvenience. Life is inconvenient. Life is lumpy. A lump in the oatmeal, a lump in the throat, and a lump in the breast are not the same kind of lump. One needs to learn the difference.
Robert Hastings wrote an essay called “The Station.” A small excerpt…
Sooner or later, however, we must realize there is no Station in this life, no one earthly place to arrive at once and for all. The journey is the joy…Life must be lived as we go along. The Station will come soon enough.2 Corinthians 4:18: …
we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.Perfectionism has benefits and drawbacks. My hope is that, with time, I will be able to use my type A instincts to their full potential in maintaining a happy healthy home for my family while keeping perspective that “life is lumpy”…and things are not always orderly. So, enjoy the journey, embrace your family, overlook the mess – the mess won’t matter when you reach the eternal Station.
my hairbands...donned by herself
Asher's pacifiers.
Asher's pacifiers.
